My First Blog!

Where to start? I think I'll go with that tacky question to make myself sound self-aware. Lol. I am mainly making this post so I don't have to encounter the inevitable miasma of never starting to write because I don't know how or where to begin...

I hope to have pretty interesting entries, and they'll probably be directed to an audience. I'm pretty sure that's how this website works, but I'm not trying to pretend that I don't know about this website to come off all cool. Like when people know exactly what something is but they're afraid to acknowledge it.
"Uhhmm I think the show is like....uhhh....something like 'sing your best' or uhm...like american singer...or something I don't really watch it."
Clearly, asswipe, you know what american idol is. Same thing happens with pokemon. My vet pretended not to know pokemon. I take my cat Pikachu (the most popular breed of pokemon that everyone knows) in there and this older woman in there was like

"Pikachu huh? That's an interesting name...isn't that from something?"

"yeah...that is..."

"yeah...like a....like a poke man or something...right?"

"yeah......exactly right"

"Oh i'll stop being a fake ass punk about it then"

Pikachu: "That's rights.....minceee...."


Being a veterinarian would be nice. I wonder if they get paid as much as medical doctors. Likely not. But it'd be worth the 30K sacrificed to just be like "give it dry food...uhm...don't run it over.....give it these pills wrapped in a piece of cheese..."
I really don't think dogs should eat cheese, but that is traditionally how it's done where I'm from. I eat my pills with cheese too. I'm like "I have a migraine, AND I want to have trouble taking a shit..." Problem solved.

Hey if you're reading this and you write blogs here- do you ever notice the thing in the bottom right of this box when you're writing??? Hahaha it says

"Labels for this post:
e.g. scooters, vacation, fall"

Vacation? sure. Fall? absolutely. Scooters? ...Scooters. Scooters? Scooters: Scooters.......

Do I have to be the guy that calls out people who are blogging about seeing a scooter, buying a scooter, riding a scooter, liking scooters, naming a child scooter, nicknaming a loved one scooter, not seeing a scooter, subscribing to a scooter magazine, doing a scooter trick, being a scooter, bringing a scooter, watching a scooter movie, and/or scooting along?

Scooter?

Not bicycle. Not skateboard. Not even rollerblades. Scooters.

.....uhm....

...Having said that they were a pretty hot item about 9 years ago, I must say. I actually had a Razor scooter. I couldn't do any tricks but I could cruise pretty good. It was from the Sharper Image, which is wierd because it was a scooter, not a 2,600 dollar Deluxe Espresso Machine made out of mahogany and diamonds. Nor a table that you can plug in so it heats up at the surface for your food.

If I saw a kid on a scooter tomorrow I'd probably mow him down. There should be "DO NOT YIELD" signs for little tools on scooters. I would have gladly have had both my legs broken for the amusement that it would provide the hero that hit me with their vehicle. Hard.
I would be cruising with my hands on the dinky little handlebar like "yay," then I would just EAT the grill of a god damned Ford F-250 Diesel Double Truck Twin Axle Sports Edition.
That would be the way to go down.

Just kidding.

Yep, welp, this is my first blog ever so excuse any hipocricy, mispronunciations, misappropriations, lower casings, stipulations, staples, and presuppositions.