Yeah those twats with the bumper stickers that say
"In Loving Memory of Chuck Jenkins 1956-2008"
What is in loving memory? The car?
"I humbly dedicate this Honda CR-V to Chuck's life. He was such a CR-V type of guy. I mean, to have an automatic car that comes with windshield wipers...it is such a Chuck-Mobile."
Yeah I got a Chuck-Mobile for you. (I am holding up both middle fingers 1/2 a deciliter from my monitor). Fuck Chuck. Chuck it up your ass. Who wants to see this? If a loved one of mine ate it the last thing I'd want to see when I looked in my rear mirror is some pseudo-heartfelt plaque dedicated to them. What the crust?
Come to think about it the people that do this might be smart. It takes determination to ride someone's ass that has a loving memory sticker. But it's not like the people with these stickers are the only ones to have known someone that died so I say ride their ass!
Now if the lifespan reads 2000-2003 or some shit that's pretty rough. For the kid! They must have been terrible parents, so ride these peoples' ass too! No one gets off free! No free lunch! No free luncheon! It's almost like they're bragging.
Sometimes the ass riding is incidental because the years will be in fine print. I mean if I read that some fuck died I at least want to know how old he (or it) was. 48? Cool. 63? Even worse.
From a distance*I think it might be some cool OBX sticker! Or some anti-Bush shit! Eh, fuck. Someone died.
They should put the reason. They're starting a story and not finishing it.
"In Loving Memory of Chuck Jenkins 1956-2008. He was str8 stabbed. He played cards. He ate beef and pork. He didn't do lent. His middle name wasn't lent. He lent his neighbor a grass. He lentil soup. Chuck had no luck, Chuck did get stuck, Chuck what the fuck, Chuck in the muck."
Oh ok. Thank you. Now I know Chuck. Thank you his wife. Put your number on there too baby I know you can't be too busy these days! HEY! HO! Chuck-o!
These assholes are only rivaled by the people that put the squiggly outlines of their family holding hands. And the dog! And the cat! CUTE!
Are you just verifying that your existence is as predictable as your Tercel and its being parked outside of Target would have me believe? Yes. You left your coupons in the car, whore.
The two ideas should be combined. Just get the squiggly outline sticker and when someone takes the shaft, cross'em out! Big red X. That sounds like my 80's drug dealer name that correlates to my current Facebook profile picture photo.
There was an MS-DOS version of Facebook called Peergroup. It was sweet. You didn't know much but you knew who your friends were (Biff, Larry, and Sariah). Your profile consisted of a stock 8-bit photo of what you probably looked like. You picked a favorite number that had to be 1-9 but you could get the $42.00 Expansion Pak that extended that pantheon of digits to 17.5 but not 12.
*The comments on this are priceless. "God is still in controle"
