Read this post if you don't like my other posts

I feel, what seems to be about a couple inches above my genitals, the urge to pee. A fluid that I drank, the remainder of which seeks to be released. Since birth I learned that I don't want this fluid all over me and my clothing, so it waits. A part of me is annoyed that it is there. The same part of me knows that if history is an indicator of the present, relief will follow. I will release the fluid and a wave of calm will come through me...yes. This feels very good to do.

This fluid goes so far as to base its color on how hydrated I am. A dark yellow color says that I need more water. I probably shouldn't have to have my urine tell me this- being that water is the second most vital element to organic life. But it tells me nonetheless.

"Hey, Matt, the starches and proteins and salts and whateverelse's you ingest need water in order to go through the metabolic processes and be broken down. So let's...let's have some please. I can't fucking text you so use my color as an indicator."

I curl my brow in a concerned way when I see the color. This facial expression tells the urine that I have concern, I have noted the problem, and I will go drink some water. The urine goes on to tell the bath of water in which it now resides what I eat and what size penis I have, and I flush it because I do not want to hear the water's reaction to what the urine has to say. I think of the comebacks I could have had for the urine when it made those snide remarks to the water. Something about split pee soup.

I put my penis back where it belongs. It only follows logic that there is a blue cloth with a little metal gate that serves to zip up and cover this part of me. If I leave it out, if I let it stay outside of this gate then it will make other people feel uncomfortable and avoid me. This is a power that I do not exercise. It is wrong. In fact, it is illegal. They are called privates for a reason!

If I choose to leave this skin out for others to view, then that is something that is so wrong that I will have another human grab me, put my hands behind my back and lock them there, and drive me to a cement encompassment that will be my incarcerate for what I have done.

"A penis is not to be shown in public because it is used for sex, and it is inherently dirty by association," said the policeman. "You're to put it away after you pee, and then use it also for sex with one woman that you are married to in the privacy of a home. That's why it's there."

Yeah, for you maybe. But for me it has served many more functions than that. In elementary school I was very curious about it and I batted it around occasionally. In middle school I saw it develop a little bit and I was also a little worried for its capabilities if I were to engage a woman sexually. It kept getting excited about these random ideas in my head, so I did my best at giving it what it wanted. It grew very acclimated to my right hand. It rose happily to the occasion of hand attention, and on these occasions it took over my mind as much as it consumed my body which is why I was fascinated enough to do it daily.

Then I had sex. My penis was a little nervous, though excited for the first time to enter into those strange looking lips that make a vagina. I thought it would look a little more basic. I thought the point of entry would be a little higher on the body, kind of like where my penis is. "Shut up" my dick said, "just get it."

So at this point for the first time I am in this radical state of sexuality with someone else there. I have to think about the faces I'm making, if it's big enough, the faces she's making, what position to be in, how to go about thrusting it...it was a nervy affair. My penis eventually taught my body how to go about this in a smoother, more conscious fashion.

My penis(first speaker) tried describing to me(second speaker) what it was like to be inside a vagina.

"Heeeee heeee!!!! HAAA!!! Imagine just having your whole body covered in a wet, smooth, mucous skin, not unlike the inside of your cheeks. It contracts to your size after it gets stimulated. It rubs you all around and your outsides become real sensitive and enjoy this beautiful friction. Goo comes out of you in an overwhelming zenith of ecstasy."

"Hmm. Yeah I don't think that would translate to the human body."

"Fagget"

After high school I was single. My dick was under the assumption that those mucous walls would forever be there to stimulate it.

"This stroking gig was cool at first but you have to switch back to vaginae."

"There's none around right now just get by with this"

"Not the same"

"Yes I know but the more I do this the more likely we are to have another vagina."

"Thaaaaaat sounds like a crock of shit"

"And it is."

"Soooo...."

"What happens is I have to use interpersonal skills and compliment a girl at the right times and play these little flirty games like you see on TV and convince her that the sex I give her will be tied to other merry things. Basically that I'm an alright guy."

"Why not just fuck them?"

"Well, yeah. But they won't let you if you don't talk your way into it."

"That sounds like a crock of shit."

"And it is."

suck me

.
Oh, suck me, little bang-o-lash
Suck me like a succotash
I've seen a shovel in the road
I pointed it where other shovels go

Little racist camels in the sand
little bits of centavos in my hand.
I want a crumb resting on her ass
She pays the rent and smokes some grass

She was one time a mighty dame
She was on a clock that stayed the same
Time is a rotation, a circular sensation
Earth and all it's bounty from a higher incarnation

Meat for eat, what a treat
We stuff ourselves-like a smeet
Take for granted, take for fun
Taking affects everyone

Doctors, patients, maybe all other types of things. One sees mightily through their own mind but is then just as blind as they are omniscient. Putting good or bad forth and judging others upon their ability to do so- it was fated.

Nothing is not real, divided bits of care in a garden of ambiguity.

Guess what? Women are fucking zombies

...meaning that women are zombies, fucking represents emphasis - NOT that women are having sex with zombies. The text following explains:

They're all like:

"Oh, men...we know your little games. I know why you did that. You mere mortals cannot comprehend how much we know about what you are going to do, what you've done, and what you are currently doing, and thinking."

And then a good many guys assume that this is true. However these are the same guys that are just dumb-asses when it comes to reading a girl's feelings;
"She got all mad and shit....I was like 'babe come on'...she told me to leave so I did and then she got upset at me for leaving...I was like damn..."

Usually there's just some sort of trade off- it's really not that hard to wrap ya mind around. For instance, a guy gets to watch a football game if he buys his wife flowers.

But there becomes this gap between belief and reality when guys just get the flowers, just buy the dinner, just get the chocolates/necklace/wine, etc... BUFFOON! It's kind of depressing, it's like "here, I spent money on you," when in reality a gift is always only as good as the thought that was put behind it. A good measure of knowing how much thought goes into a gift is the difference between:

1) Going into a store unaware of what gift you're going to get someone, picking something randomly.

and

2) Knowing the gift someone will like, then going to a store/making it

...wherein a gift itself may not be bad but you at have to make dinner fun, do something creative afterward, or use the roses as an intro to sex. Something.

Most of the population of men from the baby-booming generation seem to be a lot more emotionally inept. I'm not saying this to empathize with the female viewpoint, I have seen it to be true. It's why stand-up comics that cater to that generation usually have a "women are from mars" theme as part of the backbone of their set...and why these guys just get the dinner.

But these same baby-boomer guys work. A lot. They put in 50-60 hour weeks, or more - so they don't have time to really make the cognitive investment that a good gift entails, or they would. In the least, these guys know the consequence of a bad gift, or no gift at all. The women they're married to get upset. They think of the 70's or 80's when times were easier. Just listenin' to Springsteen, dating a younger version of the chump they're still with, fallin' in love...

...Now women are zombies.

My generation sees the dawn of a new era of female. The ones seeking brains! And well paying jobs! The type of women that would see this statement and say 'I don't know what the hell you talkin' bout women been smart for years you men think you know it all you got another thing comin!'

AND they have this idea instilled in their head about men being dolts on the love scene because of their mothers! Fuck!

So my generation is the recipient of smart women taking jobs from men, and then also treating these men like they are assholes.

Me and all other men must unite. Even if we cannot all get along, we can put our differences aside: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. The global society needs converted into a scenario of 1-month love affairs. No marriage. No long term. Just one month of good sex, sweetness, having fun, and being genuinely interested in the other person.

It's all you need. Everything's downhill after a month. You bicker, grow old, go through the same routines. Why not just cut it off at a month?

This poses the question: what about pregnant women? Huh Matt? What about them??

They will be hung. No I'm just kidding. These pregnant femmes will be entered into an ultimate society. The highest of the caste! Being as they cannot play the market as fairly as everyone else, they will have men that pamper them, and help them in their time of need, so they can have their child! The men that father these children will pamper all day too, and not work. Both parents will receive tax breaks.

The only people allowed to have children will be attractive folks. And none of this "awwwww every baby is cute" horse shit nonsense. Every baby is NOT. Don't believe me? Go to Hagerstown (although I was born into this hellhole, I represent a glaring exception).

Take a guy like me, for example: attractive, chiseled, good jawline, works out, smart, plays guitar, good hair. The only thing going against me is having a tiny dick*, and that can be compensated by the mild definition I have on my abs, in addition to my good complexion, as well as the aforementioned criteria. I can therefore have kids.

I have deviated from the point a little. Women are zombies. They are seeking to expand there minds, and their role in society will change as well. They are quite adept at learning, so this is scary.

It's not fair because their fertile minds have been made so by GENERATIONS of men laboring while they got to sit at home and creatively think. That ease of living for such a long period of time does wonders for a brain. Yeah, they cleaned and shit, BUT THEY'VE HAD A PRETTY FUCKING EASY RUN OF IT GOD DAMN IT. And so have their minds! So now they're all ready to learn, and all men can do is build shit and drive well.

So we (men) are fucked if we don't start getting together in some sort of not-gay macho way (no faggets allowed btw). Then we can sex women at our discretion, for a month, and both sexes will be happier for it.

I guess that is all.






*I ONLY said the tiny dick thing as a joke to emphasize my point, and add in some hyperbole. The opposite of this statement is true, I have a monster dong. It is huge. I definitely DO NOT have a tiny dick and the reason I made this joke is because of how secure I am with the size of my penis. It is certainly not because I want to put the idea out as a joke when it is really true and I have some insecurity about it. Because it is not true. My dick is not tiny, by any stretch of the imagination. It is not short, stumpy, or anything like that, and it doesn't itch when I pee. I CAN PEE JUST FINE AND THAT IS ALL. MY DICK IS FINE, AND AT LEAST NORMAL SIZE IF NOT LARGE.